On December 1, 2012, a man passed away in Ireland. He wasn’t famous, no celebrity or athlete, and his disappearance did not make the headlines.  His name was Conor Kerr and he was a Zen Cart developer like me.  That means he was well-known in a very small international community.

I had the honor of knowing Conor – from across the ocean. I never met him face to face; I never shook his hand or was able to hug him.  But in many ways I did get to know Conor on a level deeper than nearly every male friend I have here locally in Charlottesville.  How?  By email – technology.

We had a number of email conversations especially these last months.  He didn’t expect to die even though he was terminal from some sort of tumor or brain cancer – he never admitted to exactly what he had. He kept talking about not being able to work as much as he wanted to and he was always caring about me personally and professionally.

Again, we never met in person. We met on the internet. We communicated on the internet. If it hadn’t been for email, I never would have gotten to know him as well as I did even if he was my next door neighbor.

Email has been part of my life for many years now. I mainly use it for business communication but what I love about the internet and email is that it has made the world smaller. I work with other UK and Australian developers and clients. I sometimes Skype them and can see their faces as we talk. I recently had several conversations on my iPhone using Skype calling with a potential UK client. The call clarity was better than some I’ve had on my land line.

I text once in a while. I still stand in amazement watching young people use 2 hands to quickly write out a text. I feel like a hunt and peck typist on my iPhone and I make many mistakes. Those mistakes frequently get corrected in truly wondrous and funny ways. As an English teacher and writer I don’t like spelling auto-correction, but as time goes on, it becomes a time-saver as well as a joke maker.

Texting was the only way I could communicate with my former foster daughter 500 miles away. It didn’t lead to great communication but it was communication with an at-risk teen in a very difficult world. It wasn’t face to face, but it gave me an avenue into her life and hopefully provided her with some of the support she needed.

Facebook gives me the opportunity to reach out once in a while. Working at home as I do, I don’t get as much social interaction as someone working in an office. Checking in with Facebook reminds me there are others out there with their triumphs, disappointments and opinions. I get heard – even though many of my Facebook friends are not close friends (many I attended high school with over 40 years ago). They tell me they like some things; they argue with me; they thank me for my opinions and thoughts. I play Words with Friends – Facebook Scrabble. None of it is face to face, but it is a communication that I deeply appreciate at times.

I use Twitter, too. Now Twitter makes me feel like I’m sending messages out into the world and they mostly fall on deaf ears. Occasionally though I hear back from someone. If I had more followers and spent more time on it, it would even be a real avenue of communication. But with all the emailing, texting and Facebooking going on, I’ve got to draw the line somewhere!

Communication does not happen just face to face. In today’s world it happens more often and across the world. It’s not the same as being able to give someone a hug or whisper in their ear that you love them.   It is communication though and can be very valuable.

Conor lightened my world all the way from Ireland. He was my friend and confidant thanks to technology and email. There’s nothing wrong with today’s technological communication when that kind of interaction can happen.  In his last email to me on November 17, he ended with “As you say “Work goes on”! :)” Yes, it does. Work and life goes on. Thanks, Conor. My sadness is easy to see (: in my emoticon and my heart. But I’m hear you, Conor, – I’m turning it upside down and going on. 🙂